Unilaterally Independent joins calls to ban the Unilaterally Independent

The Unilaterally Independent has today announced that it intends to join the campaign to ban it. A spokesperson for the paper said “We’ve had it too good for too long. Making people laugh is far more rewarding than any of us idiots deserve, and besides, I was kinda hoping to have Christmas off work anyway.”

FACT CHECK: The Unilaterally Independent strenuously denies allowing its staff time off work over Christmas.

He continued “We are providing our full backing to Tweeter, and we already have a few ideas for strictly Micras-themed articles.”

Some Micras-related ideasremember to remove editor notes before publication
“Hatred of sport now active enough to claim area the size of Jingdao”We can’t use this, references to claiming are OOC, think of another one
“Micras to be sponsored by Red Bull”Definitely not
– “Mercury renames national stadium “Arena” to remove references to real world”Did you even read the memo?
“Florian human rights record finally on par with Amazon”Oh come on, you’re not even trying now
“Monkey tennis?” – Maybe you do need Christmas off after all, and the new year, and the year after that, etc.

“Hmm, yeah, it doesn’t really leave us with much now, does it?”

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