King Michael removes photographs of parents from “state banqueting hall” due to “connections to slavery”

King Michael today announced that all photographs of his parents are to be removed from his “state banqueting hall”, or dining room, due to their supposed connections to slavery. The King was reportedly furious at being asked to wash up his glass after having a drink of milk.

The move comes just days after King Michael quoted that a “Black Lives Matter” demonstration in his nation had caused over $2 worth of damage, when the sandwich he had taken to the protests for lunch was accidentally knocked onto the floor. He has recently become vocal on these issues, with the leader of the nation, population 1, being quoted as saying “As the only non-black citizen of my great country, I feel an obligation to stand together in solidarity. Slavery was a scourge on our society, and as leader, I make it very clear that it will not be tolerated. For any black citizens that feel unsafe in America today, I offer them the opportunity to join my nation and fill one of our government roles.”

When asked whether the roles would be paid, King Michael replied “No.”

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