“Not fucking tectonics again” says everyone

Everyone has collectively said “oh no, not fucking tectonics again” after news emerged that North Antarctica was struck by a micrasquake this morning, following numerous failed attempts to compile a tectonic map of Micras resulted in everyone giving up on the idea that such a thing could exist. Many foreign reporters have claimed that maybe it was just a big tree falling down, or King Michael’s momma falling down the stairs, but local authorities have treated the reports with the utmost seriousness. A spokesperson said “we have to weigh up all the options here, it’s entirely possible that the ground just moved by itself with no underlying cause, or maybe it was a train going past, we can’t be certain”.

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