Secessionists apply for coronavirus furlough

King Michael today reassured his citizens, and the wider community, that his nation will survive the current COVID-19 pandemic thanks to what he has actively chosen to label “foreign aid”.

The King’s completely independent nation had been considered a potential victim of eviction from its landlord in recent weeks, but safety has now been guaranteed thanks to financial support from a government toward which neither Michael nor his now-furloughed parents have definitely never paid any taxes.

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