Newspaper not defunct, has been reporting on Discord all along

Despite a whole year without any stories, the Unilaterally Independent newspaper has reassured readers that it still exists.

Although its last headline came 364 days ago, the UI – as it is both commonly and uncommonly known – has claimed that its editors have had loads of ideas for articles in the past year, all of which are located on the paper’s private Discord server.

Although we at the Universally Independent have no information regarding these reports, contacts who wish to remain anonymous have supplied us with a number of examples of the paper’s unpublished headlines:

  • Micronationalist plans next unexpected hiatus before current one ends
  • Mercury halts food production, populace to be sustained entirely on sport
  • Nation dumbfounded by loss of land after submitting removal
  • Vulture Nations close to collapse, online poll decides next scavenger animal mascot
  • Craitman considers leaving MCS, has office boarded-up from outside

The UI has offered no comment at this time.

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